navigating life after the kids have grown
You don’t always need a huge bank account to make a big change. This is my guest bathroom with globe lighting, dark woodwork and cabinets and an old drab vinyl floor I painted the walls and all of the old dark cabinets, doors and trim with KILZ followed with several coats of paint, changed out the light fixture, the door knobs, and cabinet hardware, and had someone install some new waterproof engineered hardwood flooring and it turned out great. It’s much brighter and ready to welcome guests.
Let’s talk about what “home” means to you. Over the years most of us senior citizens have had many homes. Some of us have grown up in one home, others moved one or more times while young. After high school some of us went to college, some of us went into an apartment to begin adulthood. Then some of us married and moved one or more times as we raised families. Well, now we have somehow fast forwarded to 2023 and we are not alone. The Alliance for Aging Research asserts that by 2030, over 71 million people will be over the age of 65, and over 33 million will be over the age of 75. We are finding ourselves making decisions on retirement, downsizing or preparing to age in place in our current home.
In this series of articles, Part One has me talking to fellow Seniors about getting your home ready so you can “age in place”. I encourage you to do this in your EARLY senior years so that you can formulate a plan BEFORE you need to make a snap decision. I’ve worked with Seniors who delay and delay this step, then out of nowhere they or a spouse have a health crisis which they are unprepared for. So, this is designed for healthy individuals anticipating that their needs will change as they age. Is your home going to be Senior friendly as you age? How do you decide? If you live in a 2 story home with your main bedroom on the second floor, really put some thought into evaluating if this is where you want to age in place. As you age, you very well may have difficulity managing the steps every day. Check into an elevator or a stair lift now BEFORE you need it to see if it’s a possible fit for your home. Stair lifts are the less expensive choice especially if you have a straight stairway to the second floor. If you have a curved or stairway that has a landing and a turn half way up it may be a bit more involved requiring structural changes. There are also small elevators that require less space than you’d think. They use a pressurized air system, and remind me of a much gentler, vertical system that we use at a drive up bank. In the bathroon, adding grab bars in the shower or tub is a somewhat easy fix. Make sure you have handrails on stairs both inside and outside where needed. Check out Seniors at Home to get other ideas. If your current home isn’t adaptable, you might consider choosing a different lifestyle for your older self. In Part 2 we will cover selling your home and downsizing into another single family home with one level living
Last fall my husbands newly replaced knees were giving him some trouble climbing up onto our lift station and then the big dive down into our fishing boat. It was time for a change … pontoon boating here we come!! We sold the boat, sold the lift station and this spring we had our Slyvan delivered. Easy in, easy out, on the same level as the dock. It’s also a safer place for our 11 year old Golden Retriever, and a safer place for our 14 month old great grandbaby as it’s pretty much a playpen with sides all around and secure GATES. It’s also a great place to sit and entertain guests and of course treat them to a sunset tour of the lake.
Where do you really want to be today, are you living in the home you want or is it time to review your plans and simplify your lifestyle? When we are in our 50’s and even 60’s and 70’s there may yet be other steps in our journey. Other places to land. So is where you want to live now the same as where you might want or need to live when you’re 85? We have a lot of life to live yet, so explore your options and be free, do what you want to do. One step at a time, enjoy your journey.
Bill and I just got back from our winter break, 10 days in St. Thomas at Frenchmans Cove. While there we started planning next years winter vacation, which got me thinking. Once the family is grown and we don’t have to plan around elementary and/or high school spring break anymore, the world just opens up to so many possibilities. Even if you still have kids in college, they seem to want to travel with friends. That’s ok, because we have our preferences too. So are you finding yourself falling into the category of “snowbirds”, spending the entire winter in southern climates? Or is a month away enough to shake the blues away? We are winter oddities I guess, we still like the change of seasons and love December and most of January at home with family, a cozy fire, a good book and a cosmo. Watching the snow fall, baking cookies or scones is my hibernating time and a needed break from the always on the go time of the other three seasons. By February, the thought of sun, warm weather and the sand in my toes sounds pretty good and 10 days seems to be the magic number. We like the Caribbean and purchased a villa there while on our honeymoon in 2006. When we get back home, we delve back into the tail end (hopefully) of winter, but still will consider shorter times away in the southern states, usually visiting one or the other of our kids and their family’s. We don’t seem to need the entire winter away, plus I tend to be a homebody and can’t bear to leave the dog or cats for any long period of time. It may be cold at home, but there is always plenty to do to pass the time. So, what is your winter pleasure and where do you go, if anywhere?
Sometimes unexpected life events change your future plans. If it’s a health issue or the death of a spouse, partner or parent and you have to think about moving into a smaller home or a home that requires less maintenance or an easier floor plan, know you have options. Take a deep breath, there is always a solution. Let me help you navigate your choices.
Are you still living in the family home you purchased in the 70’s 80’s or 90’s to raise a family and you are beginning to think it’s time to spread your wings and enjoy your life? What are your options? Where would you go to live a simple life, one that requires less maintenance, that fits your budget, and in a location that you want to be? Do you want to live near family, and they are in another state? Let’s explore that option. My friends Barb and Dave decided they wanted to move closer to their family in Savannah Georgia . They started by visiting the “kids” and grandkids and exploring their options near Savannah, found a 55 and over condominium community they loved, with 2 pools, a gym and clubhouse and used some of the equity in their home and personal funds to purchase. This was a new build, so they had time to pack, purge and donate, sell their existing condominium, use temporary housing for the interim, then finish their move to Georgia. The best thing about their move? Barb said it’s living near their grandkids, helping with getting them to dance and gymnastics. Other benefits are maintenance free living, having an extended growing season for her flowers, lemon and lime trees.
If you have family living elsewhere in the States, take the first step and explore that option. Let’s see what your home equity situation is like in this real estate market, and if you decide to go forward, I can help with preparing your home for sale, consulting with your family and a qualified real estate agent in another state, assist where needed with my sources of financial advisors, real estate attorneys, mortgage companies, arranging help with your physical move with home organizers, and estate sale contacts . Let me help you put the pieces together.
